Pink Peonies Because I’m Feeling Blue
Sometimes I love change in life and sometimes I hate it. Today is one of those days when I hate it. I just got back from visiting my dad in the hospital. He’s diabetic and his blood sugar dropped to a dangerously low 33 … so he’s on an IV but is struggling … his kidneys aren’t functioning normally at the moment. We’re hoping his health will return to a manageable situation soon and he can go back to my sister’s house where he and mom live with their caretaker. I don’t like this type of change … so I’ve got some pink peonies to cheer me, although I’d prefer that my dad was okay.
I clearly remember the day my father found out he had diabetes. He was at my first house wallpapering my bathroom when the doctor’s office called (they actually tracked him down to my place) to let him know his blood sugar was over 500! It’s a wonder he was even standing … let alone wallpapering my bathroom!
Both my parents are now in their 80’s and their health is quickly declining.
My mother has Alzheimer’s and is not herself anymore.
She’s been my best friend all my life and now that she’s mentally gone, I miss her horribly.
I feel such a sense of loss … even when I’m sitting right next to her. I know many of you know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever had a loved one with Alzheimer’s. My grandmother had Alzheimer’s so I’m not unfamiliar with this quirky disease.
My mom’s caretaker tells me she asks for me every day.
Yet when I’m with her she doesn’t know who I am. Alzheimer’s is cruel that way.
And now it’s my father who is struggling. It’s hard to see him in a frail state …
… the man who was the provider of the family for years.
It’s hard to see your parents age … this is the change in life I hate.
Watching 2 vibrant people decline before your very eyes.
And yet … I feel hope. Both my parents are Christians and I know they are destined for a better place.
A place where there are no more tears and no more pain. And for that I am eternally grateful.
My mother had pink peonies like this in her garden. I think I’ll take a bunch to her tomorrow.
Seeing her will lift my spirits … it’s one more memory I’ll have of her.
And at night, I’ll go visit my dad and hope he’s still on the mend.
I wish aging wasn’t part of the life cycle. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a loved one. For now I’m grateful I have another day with my parents.
I am so sorry for the hurt you are going through right now. My parents wer both 80 and my mom past away 4 weeks ago. She loved Jesus with all her heart and was looking forward to seeing Him and all her loved ones. I’m so thankful for the hope we have and that we will be together soon. I pray you feel God’s peace as you go through this hard time.
I love peonies too. I hope your mom will love them and that your dad improves. My thoughts are with you.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. All my best to you as you go through these difficult times.
Oh how my heart hurts for you. Our parents are so very important in our lives. My mom had Dementia and I felt though her body with still with us her soul was long gone. It was excruciating to be with her sometimes. We lost her five years ago and I miss her so much. I will keep you in my prayers. I hope you will feel the love your friends are sending your way.
This is certainly a hard stage in life! I’m experiencing some of the same dynamics as you are, and like you, knowing they’ll be with their Lord in eternity gives so much hope and peace and comfort through the difficult times.
Your peonies are so lovely…something to make you smile today.
Mary Alice
Your peonies are beautiful! I know they will brighten your My family has been touched by both diabetes and dementia as well. Sending up prayers of peace for you and your family. Bonnie
i can’t imagine, as we have not encountered this within our family, To see someone each day who does not know who you are . pretty flowers for your pretty mama. Take care.
I lost my dad last year. Actually, I lost my daddy three years or so ago, when the dementia got bad. He also was a faithful Christian man, so when his physical body gave out, I felt relief for him, knowing his could no longer feel any pain. I don’t have any comforting words of wisdom, just wanted you to know that I understand what you are going through.
My heart goes out to you. Sounds like you have wonderful parents and I believe that they both know they have a wonderful daughter. While Alzheimer’s has stolen your Mom’s memory, it has not stolen her heart and her long ago memory. She still loves you and always will. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us.
I am glad you still have your parents,for now and will be sending you prayers. I lost my dad two years ago and it seems harder now,he loved the Lord and was a good man. I am still thankful to have my mother. I hope the flowers will help your mother know she is still loved.
I am sorry you are feeling blue and the he alt of your parent is failing. I lost my mom to dementia a few years ago. The flowers are beautiful and I hope they bring you and your mom some happiness and a smile. Hang in there!
My prayers and thoughts are with you, your Mom and Dad. Old age is not fun as my husband and I are getting there. I love peonies and they are such a beautiful beacon of life’s seasons. You are a wonderful daughter!
I, too, have aging parents. My dad is now in very poor health and until this past year, had never been admitted to a hospital in his life. He served for 23 years in the Army Special Forces and it is hard to see him so frail. My mom, too, is declining and she is my best friend. But with all of their ails, their minds are still with them and for that I am so grateful. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Watching my parents age is the most heartbreaking thing I have gone through. I, too, know that with Jesus, they will be healed and happy but letting them go is so hard.
So sorry for your sadness. My mom was also my best friend and though I lost her 20 years ago I still miss her desperately. I try to remember the sweet memories and look forward to the day we meet again in Jesus’ arms. I pray your dad regains some health and stamina.
Your pink peonies brightened my day! I am walking beside you as my parents are both in their 80’s and mom has dementia and daddy’s health is rapidly declining. Prayers for your dad. Hug him and your mother today!
Jennifer,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. We just lost my stepfather a few years back from Alzheimer’s. It is a harsh and cruel disease. So sorry you are going through this now with your mom. I am praying for better days for your dad. It is hard when our parents begin the last leg of their lives here with us and have hard health issues. So I am hoping for better days ahead. Love the pretty flowers.
Kris
I am so sorry that you are going thru this with your parents. On a positive note your Dad’s diabetes is treatable so I have faith that he will get his under control and be back to functioning like normal in no time! Enjoy every moment with your parents and know that we’re here praying and rooting for your family!
Hugs!
Jennifer @ Decorated Chaos
My heart is just aching for all you’re coping with, Jennifer. I hope your father recovers soon.
I’m really sorry to hear the pain you are feeling in your post, Jennifer. I hope you hear some good news on your Dad. It is very difficult to watch our parents age. My siblings and I have been lucky in that our parents are in their mid-70’s and are doing well. I do worry about them, though.
Jennifer normally I’d go right to the flowers but reading this made me jump off that right away. I am so very sorry for what you are going through with all of this. I Can empathize with you my mom died of a brain tumor when I was only 26 and she was 56, way too young for such a horrible thing to happen to her. She was my best friend and I shared so many great moments with her and I thank God for it each and every day. We laughed, cried and shopped and had lunches together and talked about a million times a day. I saw her 4 days a week. I miss t hat connection. Your dads n umbers are amazing how they can fluctuate. He seems to be a fighter and strong. Your mom I can’t even express what I truly want to say. What a cruel disease she has and my heart and prayers got to her, your dad and you and your whole family. In my thoughts.
Cynthia
Oh Jennifer, I wish I were there to give you a big hug. I know exactly what you are going through having experienced it first hand myself with the loss of both my parents, my step father and my husband. Stay strong and enjoy each and every moment with your parents. You are in my thoughts and prayers and may God bless you.
Oh boy! Do I ever know what you are feeling. This is such a cruel disease. My mom was my best friend too but now it is a different person. So sad! Thanks for sharing & just know you aren’t alone. Prayers for you.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. You obviously are a product of loving family and
the peonies are just as beautiful as you all are.
Prayers for you and all of your loved ones.
Jennifer,
I am with you … My late Dad had dementia and I felt exactly like you do about your Mom 🙁 I lost him long long before he passed away, he was so frail and exhausted with constant checking who we were and where he was … it was sooo hard to go through this stage of my life. Two years after his death I am still thinking about how difficult it was for my whole family not to get crazy 🙁
We are Christians, too so like in your case it made our life a bit easier because we just kept our faith about a better life after this nightmare.
Prayers for you and your parents
I felt such sadness reading your post. Huge hugs to you.
Angela @ Number Fifty-Three
I am so sorry that you are going through this tough time. Watching those that you love decline is so very sad.
One of my best friends lost her dad to Alzheimer’s and shortly after he died, her mom was diagnosed with it. I’ve watched her decline and it’s so, so sad.
Jennifer, I’m sorry you are going through these trials right now. I have been ‘there’ with my mother who died of Alzheimer’s dementia over 20 years ago and my mother-in-law who died of dementia 3 years ago. It’s just not the same is it. You take one day at a time and enjoy every moment with them you can. Blessings to you. Pam
So sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my dad 10 years ago, I miss him everyday. My mom has been in a nursing facility for 4 years now. It’s the hardest thing ever to go through. Somedays she’s good other days she’s terrible. Her sister is in the same facility and suffers from Alzheimer’s. Recently my father in law suffered a stroke and now my husband is going through the same experiences so I definitely understand what you are going through. On a happier note, growing up we had a whole row of peonies in our yard. My mom had two large milk glass vases she would fill with peonies. It made the whole house spell wonderful. They always bring back great memories. I’ll say a pray for you and your dad and mom too. Take care.
OH golly I could write book, chapter and verse on your suffering. Three years ago my mother-in-law died, she had
alzheimer’s so bad. Six months after her, her only living brother passed. Nine months after the uncle, the father-
in-law took his life. Fourteen months later I lost my Dad who was a dialysis patient and was diagnosed the summer
before with lung cancer. All this heartache is hard to bear but……..life does go on…..we all still have other loved ones,
children and grandchildren to look at and cherish. Today I am having a good day, I miss my Mom (been gone seven
years) miss my Dad but I have to survive because other people rely on me. You are a great blogger, thoroughly enjoy your
blog. I will write again as I had a few questions I wanted to ask you about. Take care and prayers are with you. Debbie